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Steph

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Devious Journal Entry

Fri Mar 10, 2006, 9:39 AM

Mood:

i dont know

hello

i need to write some stuff...get it out of my system
but i do not know how

my emotions have been playing up recently...i cant decide how i feel, and im getting sad over nothing.
i keep making other people sad because i cant decide what i am...and that makes me sadder, its not nice to make other people unhappy.

ill be smiley and over excited one minute...then nothing will suddenly turn me all saddy.
theres nothing really wrong with me...and im probably being selfish thinking about myself, and making a big deal out of nothing. im sorry

i want to stop letting people down

i want to sleep, need to...but i dont seem to have any time...always seems to be too much to do, and to many people to make happy that i can never just get to sleep and relax. once i get to do that, maybe i can do a complete smile, for a longer time. i have to work tomorow, that makes me sad. i dont want to work at the weekend when i could be doing so much more and enjoying myself. i want to get out and see everyone, then still get to sleep

but i wont be able to do that. i will enjoy myself. but...it still doesnt make me feel right

i miss mark

very much. he was sad today, and since ive known him, i dont remember him ever being sad...i hope i didnt do anything wrong
i need to see him...but thats getting hard as i dont have any time.
i love him so much...you hear that markie??

i dont expect many of you will have read all of this...i wouldnt expect you to. sorry its so long
and in a way i dont need you to, just needed to get it out like i said.

but thankyou anyway

i love you all

-----

If i had chance to cut you, believe me you would bleed

7 Comments

Devious Comments

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~~joy 0 0~~

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~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~xx-aish-xx Mar 12, 2006, 12:14:05 PM

STEPHY: *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

Please don't be sad... I like you smile.. *sigh* Don't know what I can say don't think I can help but will hug for support because you deserve it.. always here

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* .. you get the point

Yes I am ejoying the pasting hehe

Luv u *hugs*

~fallacious-soul Mar 13, 2006, 8:16:28 AM

im sorry, i maybe shouldnt have said all that

but thankyou, im feeling better now...and i really enjoyed the hugs..cheereed me up

thankyou aishah...i love you xxxxxxxxx *hugs*

--
HAHAHA CUNT!!!!

~pebble170 Mar 14, 2006, 6:24:01 AM

Hey honey - we all feel like that at times, even Mark

I'm sure everything is okay really. Just because it feels like the world hates you doesn't mean it's true. You have got friends and they aren't all annoyed with you. What do you mean by 'I can't decide what I am'? You don't have to reply here if you don't want it made public, but if I can help at all I'd like to.

And it's not selfish to think of yourself; in fact you think so much of other people and how to be nice to them that you ought to take time out to sort out your own head!

Finally - if you ever need me, you know how to get hold of me so don't hesitate to do so.

Ames

--
MAKEPOVERTYHISTORY

=DeathRose121

~fallacious-soul

Member of : *francophones ~burn-p0etry *Circleoffriends

~fallacious-soul Mar 14, 2006, 6:35:32 AM

thankyou amy...it means alot to me...i..im alright now

i keep getting worked up about nothing...and i feel

i dont even know how to put it...im sure im magnifying nothing...and its probably just my monthly calling...it just seems worse this time round. But these comments make me feel a whole load better....and now im happy

i think i will be happy alot more from now....

thankyou thankyou

i will keep in mind all you said...and if i need to talk again...i will defintly do so
same to you if you ever need me

thankyou xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

--
HAHAHA CUNT!!!!

~pebble170 Mar 14, 2006, 6:40:36 AM

Aww thanks!! I feel loved

Glad you're feeling happier. If you ever feel bad again, talk to someone - either me, or Mark, or anyone, just don't bottle it up because it doesn't do any good!

Meh, monthlies... Not good. Here's a special hug to make you feel better: